Dear, thanks for everything!

I guess it's really over. Though i still find it hard to believe. I still think of her as "my girlfriend" or my "dear".

Well, now it is time for a period of reflections, time to reconcile with myself what made me into the monster that could hurt her so much, and especially during her exam period.

I read her blog today, and well, I can't say either of us are at our best right now. But i hope she does go to church again, and that God heals her, like He is healing me.

I'm glad God answered my prayers, that He made this break-up less painful than most. That she forgave me and that there was really no more anger or hate. I really hope that now, I can become the gentle, loving Chris Ong i was in the past. Before i let greed, my hunger to be the best and smartest, blind me.

Two years, not the longest of relationships but still a very long time between two people who loved each other so much.

And now, I hope that God can help me to forget all the bitter memories. I just want to remember all the sweet ones.

I don't know what the future holds, yet Dear (let me call you this for one last blog post), I'm glad we still remain friends.

And even if we never get back together, I will always cherish you as my first true love.

I'm glad you have friends to tide you through this difficult period. I know how hard it is for you. And I really hope both of us can be happy again.

It's going to be hard not hearing your voice everyday at 10pm. And yes, not celebrating every 25th with you. But we will survive, we have to.

Everything from now on, is a test. God's test for us. I know I am imperfect, and He needed to find a way to show me.

In the meantime, do pray a lot. I only realised how important prayer is these past two weeks. God will heal us both, and if we are meant to be, we are meant to be.

Dedicated to Jamie Ong, a wonderful girl and an even better girlfriend.