At the cross-roads of my life...

That's how I feel now.

First, my on-again, off-again relationship with Dear (see, though we are technically "Its complicated" now, i'm still calling her that).

Yesterday, me and jamie talked things out. She smsed me. I called her. And we both said we still love each other. But...

There are other issues, the ones i raised and the ones she raised. And it seems to me that if we can overcome them, we can live happily ever after.

I thought i had been dealing well with the breakup (well, that's what it was). But today, old feelings ran through me and it feels like old times again.

Like she said, whenever she saw something related to football, she had thought of buying it for me, even though we r not together anymore. On my part, i had been hiding it, but when i rented a Neil Gaiman book that day, i thought of her, for we started reading his books together.

And i was fine last week, not sitting beside the phone waiting to hear her voice. But now, i know what i'm missing. And today, when she's sleeping, i wish she was on the phone with me like last night.

I thought that i could stop crying these tears. But i can't. Its so different without her. Its such an empty feeling.

She asked me how i could be harsh one day and soft the next. The truth is: i don't know.

What i do know is: I think whatever i said about being strong, was a lie.

And the fact is: I know i love her.

Raindrops are falling on the window pane,
Whilst the teardrops fall from my face.
This heart of mine, once cold to the world.
Has warmed to her touch, and thawed.

We silly humans, with our silly ideas,
What are we, but fortunes fools.
At the whim of those we love,
Fragile as glass, breakable at their behest.

So will you come and take my breath away? Again?
Like you did the first time.

Because i wait for you.